In no particular order, here are the most kick-ass moments, revelations and zombie killings from this week’s Walking Dead midseason finale: “Made to Suffer”.
1. New, diverse characters. Let’s reveal brand spanking new characters (to take the place of all the people that were killed and will be killed this season). At first I thought, whoa, is this in the future or the past? What’s that blasted hole in the prison all about? Then, when I realized these new survivors were shuffling through the prison in the present, all I could think is if these people can get in, so can the zombies. So much for a solid fortress.
2. Carl has become Rick’s badass tiny deputy, and he takes his job extremely seriously. As you can tell by the way everyone gives Carl respect, he is no longer a small fry. Even the new guy, Tyreese, tells his group to calm down and do as Carl says. I guess all that time Lorrie was neglecting Carl she was actually setting him up to be independent. See, that crazy had been an awful mother a plan all along.
3. Carol is NOT A LESBIAN. Thanks for clearing that up, AMC.
4. Woodbury is a chaotic mess after Michonne, Rick and crew show up to save Glenn and Maggie. And as soon as the smoke bombs go off and everyone starts scattering, Oscar dies (not a surprise). But what is really irksome is Andrea’s inability to see that there’s more than meets the eye than some infiltrating outsiders out to get weapons and food from good ole Woodbury. Andrea doesn’t think anything weird is going on when all this chaos is occurring, and instead of asking her to help, the Governor wants her to knock on people’s doors and sell Girl Scout cookies or vacuum cleaners or whatever. And her dumbass-ness only gets worse as the episode progresses (I’ll get to that).
5. Penny, baby, what an awful way to go. Not only do you get zombified at an early age, but also your Daddy decides it is a great idea to store your decomposing undead body in a closet and sing lullabies to you every night (not creepy at all). And then after all the shenanigans, you are done in by a kitana. Rest in peace Penny, and may your hair be brushed properly in heaven.
6. Glenn has become one of my favorite characters. Just when you thought all Glenn could do was
get Lorrie tampons get fat zombies out of wells, he surprises you with his kick-ass resolve. Regardless of being beaten up to a bloody pulp by Merle, Glenn managed to break his chair and use the wood scraps to kill a hungry walker. He really deserves some apocalyptic sex with Maggie when this is all over. Plus, Glenn taught me I could use zombie bones as a shank if need be. Glenn is the MacGyver of Walking Dead. Imagine what he could do with some duct tape, a piece of gum and zombie guts!
7. Shane hasn’t left…Rick’s mind. All this time we thought Rick came back from his psychotic zombie-killing spree a new man. But in this week’s episode we see that he is still losing it. He shoots a guy he thinks looks like Shane, but it is really some dude from Woodsbury. Sorry, dude, you look like some douche Rick used to know.
8. Kick-ass gets a name….Judith? So this whole time I thought it was going to be some epic name. Instead, Carl names Lorrie’s baby after his 3rd grade teacher. Anti-climatic a bit?
9. Holy crap! The Governor has a piece of glass through his eye, zombie head tanks are broken and all their ick is scattered everywhere, plus Penny’s dead body is lying there like a piece of sashimi. After Michonne and the Governor get into it, the whole creepy zombie head TV room (really the selling point of the Governor’s house any realtor will tell you) is a mess. And finally, after Michonne has her chance to kill the sadistic Governor, effing Andrea with her horrible judgment comes in to defend the bastard. OMG Andrea! Are you seeing the weirdness that is happening in that room? Have you ever seen Blues Clues? Let’s do a little deductive reasoning here, lady.
10. Meryl vs. Daryl! I cannot wait to see them duke it out gladiator style. It’s going to be like a short episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo except with zombie limbs instead of pig feet. Well, maybe not that redneck, but it’ll still be fun. I hope Daryl makes it out (DUH!). I’ll be totally bummed if Daryl doesn’t make it. He adds a certain hillbilly je ne sais quoi that I love.
I can’t wait to see what happens next season!