Growing up in the late eighties, early nineties, has given me the chance to watch some funky TV shows and zany movies for “children.” Here’s a nice example : Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret of the Ooze. There are many weird happenings that I didn’t remember from my childhood synopsis of the movie and many adult jokes I know I didn’t get at 8.
For instance, the movie opens in NYC with literally everyone eating pizza. Now, I get the turtles love their NY style pies, but this scene was nuts. If this movie were set now, someone would complain about the unhealthy junk food subliminal messaging of the movie, prompting the studio to quickly change their opening scene. Well I’m sure a future DVD version will have CGI’d everyone taking wheat grass shots instead. The turtles would live off of kale and there would be a special guest appearance by Michelle Obama at the end of the movie. It’ll happen.
There’s a RANDOM Ralph Nader joke in movie. I’m not joking….
“Remind me to drop a line to Ralph Nader!” So I guess that middle aged writer really got a chuckle when he saw that joke somehow didn’t get cut from the movie. Guess people like political amphibians.
Saved the best for last…
how I ever forgot Vanilla Ice was in this movie is beyond me. His musical stylings are at the epicenter of the main battle ( which happens to occur at a club) . The turtles enthusiastically dance to “Go ninja, go ninja go!” …like a war cry but with more rhyming. It was epically tragic. I want that scene to be played on a loop at my funeral.
To summarize my tubular experience with those kooky turtles: Cowabunga was the yolo of the 90s, Vanilla Ice took any job he could get, and subliminal messages work and make me crave pizza.