Blogging Dead: Top 10 Moments from Walking Dead’s “Arrow on the Doorpost” and “Prey”

Here are the things that caught my eye on the past two episodes of “Walking Dead.”

SPOILERS!!!!

In no particular order:

10. Tyrese doesn’t notice the Governor’s creepy smile.

I don’t know about you, but I expected Tyrese to know better than to trust that slick, Southern psychopath after he sweetly smiles over and over again, explaining exactly how noble his intentions are for Woodbury. Uhhh…. just look at this smile?! What are you Andrea?! I know you have your doubts, Tyrese, but I seriously expect more from you than to take Governor at face and one-eyed value.

9. Finally, the Governor and Rick meet… it’s moment where I can’t help but wonder, WWSD: what would Shane do.

Now, there was  a ton of talking during the past episode. When Shane and Rick met, I felt like I was watching a zombiepocolypse presidential debate. Anyway, I thought, wouldn’t it be great if Shane was there and could just kill the Governor without engaging in all of these platitudes. After all, I’m not sure anyone on Team Rick would mind the Governor’s death too much. Shane was a man of action and immorality. Maybe we need a little bit of that to get rid of this one-eyed bastard.

8. Cue explicit Maggie and Glenn sex scene.

Hot prison sex during a zombie apocalypse? No guys, this wasn’t a wacky episode of Oz. This was a cheap ploy to get me interested. And it worked! Honestly,  I think the creators of this show thought: Hey, this episode is pretty boring, lets add an unexpected sex scene to confuse the audience into being entertained. Those sneaky Hollywood people trick me all the time! Arg! BTW Meryl, I think Glenn did “Nut up.”

7. Not Michonne!

Now I get why you would want to negotiate with someone that has an arsenal of biters at his disposal, but  why would you consider giving up the only person in your group that has a kitana?! Seriously Rick, WWCD: What would Carl do?

6. Rick and the Governor could’ve been BFF if there was no end of days.

Thanks to some old fashioned manipulation, Rick was bonding with the Governor over their series of unfortunate events. But at least this talk has made Rick feel less nutty until he realizes Laurie had sex with the Governor, too.

5. Get those vag clamps away from him and me!

I, like most women, hate going to the gyno, so the mere thought of having a pap smear done by one-eyed crazy McGee, made my squirm. Why the clamp?! Oh dear God. I can only imagine the sicko things he wants to do do Michonne. But what bewildered me the most is how he got those. I mean, I know the various saws and med tools could have been stored by Malcolm, but did Malcolm really have a vaginal speculum in his arsenal of tools? I can’t imagine many pap smears were occurring in Woodsbury. Maybe the Governor ordered one on eBay. I googled it, and they are only $4.99.  Pretty good price for a terrify tool to keep at home.

4. Michonne’s pets were not from a rescue after all.

Finally we get another vague answer from Michonne! She did know the pets as humans or they were never “human” per say and she enjoyed dragging them around. I kind of like the idea. It’s crazy, but not too crazy for the zombie apocalypse. I immediately fantasized about doing this to every d-bag I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with in life. How gratifying would it be to drag around their helpless undead corpse around. Whoa. That just went somewhere dark. Maybe I could just drag around someone who really liked to be a submissive when they were alive.  Maybe someone who really loved the Folsom Street Fair? Anyway, I think it would kind of honor someone like that to be an undead pet. no?

3. Malcolm is getting the idea.

Finally, this slightly disturbing little man is coming to grips with the real Governor. I enjoyed that he secretly burned those walkers in the pit ,only to reveal himself as the arsonist two scenes later. You go on with your dorky self!

2. The ultimate Cat and Mouse game: Andrea and Governor.

I was at the edge of my seat watching the chase surprisingly hoping Andrea got away alive. Those scenes made me so anxious that I was yelling like a madwoman at my TV. I mean that chase was the ultimate ex from hell moment. I know I’ve had some bad relationships, but I can’t say any were hunting me down in order to torture me with a freaking vag speculum.

1. The best part is not knowing what comes next!

Will Michonne be fed to the one-eyed Southern gentleman or will Rick realize that he’s being set up and come up with a better plan? Plus, what happens with Andrea’s love life. Will she finally meet The One? All I know is that zombie death by shovel is awesome and must be used again.

…And one more eye joke…

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