Blogging Dead: Review and Recap of “Four Walls and a Roof” and “Slabtown”

“Four Walls and a Roof”

Oh, Bobby! Someone is having a shitty day when the best thing that happens is that the hipster cannibals that kidnap you and eat your leg don’t realize you were bitten #taintedmeat. I must admit I was cackling with joy when I realized those Terminus jerks ate some serious mystery meat. I had a funny feeling Bob had been bitten, but I think the writers did a good job of distracting me with other plot points, making me forget all about Bob’s brush with the wet walkers.

69d12269f5691d7c1a90d54bb734f987 Meanwhile in the Church, we learn the priest is a selfish bastard, coward who didn’t let his people into church and ate all their canned donations. Half of the group stays with the deadweight baby Judith in the church and the other half goes looking for the hungry people eaters in order to avenge all the wrongs. Of course, the hipster cannibals (who decided to eat people before it was cool) show up to try a new recipe on those inside the church. In true kickass fashion, the other half shows up and deals some serious vengeance. Rick sees this as an opportunity to keep his promise and violently murders Gareth. I think you might call what happened inside the church overkill…I just call it another Tuesday evening during the apocalypse.

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Oh yea… Glen and Maggie and Tara leave with Abraham for DC, so they kind find Will Smith and save the world. And Darryl comes out of the bushes with mystery guest.

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“Slabtown”

FINALLY! BETH! Last we saw of her… it was really just that weird car that Carol and Darryl were chasing. Now, we see that she is stuck inside of a hospital. Good for her. I mean that hospital probably has some good acoustics, so she can belt out a tune or two.

So this creepy place has a resident perv that really loves lollipops BARF and a cute, cowardly bearded doc who doesn’t stand up for anyone and tricks Beth into killing someone (oops!). Needless to stay, this isn’t exactly the hospital of the year. Everyone is trapped inside except the cops that go out to routinely get supplies and kidnap more people. The whole episode is bizarre and has a Twilight Zone feel to it. Who are these weirdoes and where are they getting guinea pig entrees?!

Beth realizes this place is whack and that the female cop in charge has a real I’m Rick James, Bitch slapping problem, and she decides to escape with the help of another “patient” named Noah.

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This does not go as planned, and Noah ends up driving off, while Beth is caught by the police officers in charge. As we see Beth about to try a second attempt at an escape, she sees Carol roll in as a new patient in this effed up hospital. So who is in the bushes with Darryl? What did they do to Carol? Do they have any more lollipops?

…And one more for good measure…

RIP BOB

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It’s Show Time!: Top 5 Scariest Crushes for Halloween

  1. Freddy Krueger: Nightmare on Elm Street 

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The man of my dreams (get it? Hah!). Hmm.

As a child, I was completely fascinated by Nightmare on Elm Street. Even though I was scared of Freddy, there was something so charming about him. After all, his murder methods were creative and he always so punny. I’m a sucker for good wordplay and a man who loves waterbeds. RAWR.

4.  Michael Meyers: Halloween 

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Of course the quintessential strong and silent type couldn’t be forgotten. I like my men emotionally unavailable goal-oriented, and boy, is he ambitious! He definitely knows what he wants (his whole family murdered). He also really loves Halloween, and I love me a festive beau. We can carve pumpkins together and post cute Instagram pumpkin patch pics. #SundayFunday

  1. Jack Skeleton: Nightmare before Christmas

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Awww. This skinny dude is so adorable. Jack is the most well-dressed hipster in Halloween Town, and with all his finesse for spotting new styles and trends, it’s no wonder that he discovered Christmas way before it was cool. He’s also probably really into food trucks, craft beer, and coding. Make sure to swipe right!

  1. Pinhead: Hellrasier 

Pinhead

This is some kinky addition to the list. He’s definitely into cosplay and S & M. Just picture him starring in 50 Shades of Pinhead—not that much of a stretch. I can probably find him wandering around the Folsom Street Fair. Maybe there we can fall in love, and it’ll change his whole hell box obsession. He probably will still remain way into leather and body mod though…so…I might call this one a maybe.

  1. Beetlejuice: Beetlejuice

 

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BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE, BEETLEJUICE! This ghoul is truly the Tim Burton creation of my dreams. A crass, pot-bellied, pervy ghost with the most is exactly what  someone with bad judgement a kooky, creative girl like me wants. I have watched Beetlejuice more times than I can count, and every time I do I wish I could get a chance to hang out in that dingy basement with my undead crush. If Lydia won’t marry you, we can tie the knot on one condition: promise not to put shrimp cocktail on our wedding reception menu.

Blogging Dead: Review of Season 5’s “Strangers”

WARNING: If you have not seen “Strangers” (Season 5, episode 2), make sure you are not eating meat when you do or else this will happen:

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In “Strangers,” the Ricktatorship is on the move once again. This time, I assume they will have a plan in case they get separated because there are only so many times I can watch Rick yell CARL!  In this episode, the crew finds a very suspicious priest, saves him, and stays at his church. Rick does not trust him (for the record neither do I)… mostly cause he only has one emotion: stupefied.

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In true Walking Dead fashion, they go looking for supplies. This time the crew goes to a local food bank where the priest suggests. There are a bunch of very delicious looking wet zombies, with melty faces in the way of the supplies (kind of like a zombie moat?). Of course, they get the food but not without grossing me out with a bunch of awesome yet ew death-to-soggy-zombie scenes. Rick notices that the priest is acting extra shifty, so he tries to skew him for answers to no avail.

When the crew goes back to the church, Carl warns his dad about some markings on the church. SUSPICIOUS. Rick still doesn’t trust the priest but the priest did give them communal wine so…. Party? At the communal wine party, Muttonchops finally gets Rick to agree to a road trip. Get the Winnebago ready kiddos because the Walking Dead is heading to DC!

BONUS: Carol and Darryl see the mysterious car that kidnapped Beth and follow it. I can’t wait to see what she is going to sing when they rescue her!

The whole episode, Bob seems to be the focal point of the scenes. Naturally, I thought this meant he was going to die. So when he decided it was a great idea to go cry outside alone in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, I thought the dude just signed his death certificate. Ever heard of the buddy system, Bobby? That dumb move gets him captured… and when Bobby wakes up we learn his captures are none other than the Terminus survivors. The Terminus hot hipster leader dude Gareth is directing the cannibals to stalk Rick’s group. And what do cannibals really love other than fava beans and nice Chianti? Roasted leg. Mmmm…. Nice day for a Bobby-Q anyone? Anyone?

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Blogging Dead: Top 10 Moments from Walking Dead’s “Arrow on the Doorpost” and “Prey”

Here are the things that caught my eye on the past two episodes of “Walking Dead.”

SPOILERS!!!!

In no particular order:

10. Tyrese doesn’t notice the Governor’s creepy smile.

I don’t know about you, but I expected Tyrese to know better than to trust that slick, Southern psychopath after he sweetly smiles over and over again, explaining exactly how noble his intentions are for Woodbury. Uhhh…. just look at this smile?! What are you Andrea?! I know you have your doubts, Tyrese, but I seriously expect more from you than to take Governor at face and one-eyed value.

9. Finally, the Governor and Rick meet… it’s moment where I can’t help but wonder, WWSD: what would Shane do.

Now, there was  a ton of talking during the past episode. When Shane and Rick met, I felt like I was watching a zombiepocolypse presidential debate. Anyway, I thought, wouldn’t it be great if Shane was there and could just kill the Governor without engaging in all of these platitudes. After all, I’m not sure anyone on Team Rick would mind the Governor’s death too much. Shane was a man of action and immorality. Maybe we need a little bit of that to get rid of this one-eyed bastard.

8. Cue explicit Maggie and Glenn sex scene.

Hot prison sex during a zombie apocalypse? No guys, this wasn’t a wacky episode of Oz. This was a cheap ploy to get me interested. And it worked! Honestly,  I think the creators of this show thought: Hey, this episode is pretty boring, lets add an unexpected sex scene to confuse the audience into being entertained. Those sneaky Hollywood people trick me all the time! Arg! BTW Meryl, I think Glenn did “Nut up.”

7. Not Michonne!

Now I get why you would want to negotiate with someone that has an arsenal of biters at his disposal, but  why would you consider giving up the only person in your group that has a kitana?! Seriously Rick, WWCD: What would Carl do?

6. Rick and the Governor could’ve been BFF if there was no end of days.

Thanks to some old fashioned manipulation, Rick was bonding with the Governor over their series of unfortunate events. But at least this talk has made Rick feel less nutty until he realizes Laurie had sex with the Governor, too.

5. Get those vag clamps away from him and me!

I, like most women, hate going to the gyno, so the mere thought of having a pap smear done by one-eyed crazy McGee, made my squirm. Why the clamp?! Oh dear God. I can only imagine the sicko things he wants to do do Michonne. But what bewildered me the most is how he got those. I mean, I know the various saws and med tools could have been stored by Malcolm, but did Malcolm really have a vaginal speculum in his arsenal of tools? I can’t imagine many pap smears were occurring in Woodsbury. Maybe the Governor ordered one on eBay. I googled it, and they are only $4.99.  Pretty good price for a terrify tool to keep at home.

4. Michonne’s pets were not from a rescue after all.

Finally we get another vague answer from Michonne! She did know the pets as humans or they were never “human” per say and she enjoyed dragging them around. I kind of like the idea. It’s crazy, but not too crazy for the zombie apocalypse. I immediately fantasized about doing this to every d-bag I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with in life. How gratifying would it be to drag around their helpless undead corpse around. Whoa. That just went somewhere dark. Maybe I could just drag around someone who really liked to be a submissive when they were alive.  Maybe someone who really loved the Folsom Street Fair? Anyway, I think it would kind of honor someone like that to be an undead pet. no?

3. Malcolm is getting the idea.

Finally, this slightly disturbing little man is coming to grips with the real Governor. I enjoyed that he secretly burned those walkers in the pit ,only to reveal himself as the arsonist two scenes later. You go on with your dorky self!

2. The ultimate Cat and Mouse game: Andrea and Governor.

I was at the edge of my seat watching the chase surprisingly hoping Andrea got away alive. Those scenes made me so anxious that I was yelling like a madwoman at my TV. I mean that chase was the ultimate ex from hell moment. I know I’ve had some bad relationships, but I can’t say any were hunting me down in order to torture me with a freaking vag speculum.

1. The best part is not knowing what comes next!

Will Michonne be fed to the one-eyed Southern gentleman or will Rick realize that he’s being set up and come up with a better plan? Plus, what happens with Andrea’s love life. Will she finally meet The One? All I know is that zombie death by shovel is awesome and must be used again.

…And one more eye joke…

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‘Always Bring a Banana to the Party’: Best David Tennant Doctor Who Episodes

For anyone who knows anything about me…lately, I have been seriously into Doctor Who (thank you Netflix for making it possible to watch 60 episodes in 3 months). Anyway, my favorite Doctor is the Tenth, David Tennant. Maybe he’s my fav because he’s my first (tee-hee) or maybe because he just simply knows how to rock the role of the quirky Timelord from Gallifrey perfectly. I think it’s the latter, but you know, Whovians may have a difference of opinion. Here are three of my favorite Tennant episodes (this was so hard!). Anyway…Allons-y, Alonso!

THIS POST CONTAINS: 

SPOILERS

“The Girl in the Fireplace” by Steven Moffat

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There’s no easy way of summarizing this episode, but I can try to give you the highlights! Some scary aliens from a weird spacecraft are threatening Officer Ripley Madame de Pompadour, King Louis XV’s mistress. Just in time, the TARDIS lands inside the creepy stalker spacecraft, and the Doctor finds out about the shenanigans. The Doctor (besides being smitten by Madame de Pompadour) wants to save her from her odd alien stalkers. The Doctor has to find the right moment in her timeline to be able to save her. What this spaceship wants with the Madame, no one knows for sure, but the Doctor must help King Louis XV’s mistress make-out get away safe and sound.

This was the episode I fell in love with Tennant as the Doctor. It is evident that Tennant’s Doctor knows when to charm Madame de Pompadour, rave about inventing banana daiquiris, and relish in the decadence of French parties. But most importantly, Tennant exposes the emotional turmoil of the time traveler. “The Girl in the Fireplace” is the perfectly analogy of how a Timelord lives his life. Always trying to find the right instance in time, always out of sequence, always grasping for meaning, the Doctor can never carpe diem, for every day is not a day, but a bunch of jumbled up moments. Perhaps Moffat was foreshadowing his future plans for the Doctor’s romantic life with Riversong. Maybe, he was alluding to the Doctor’s inability to commit himself to Rose, but mostly, I believe he was exposing the audience to the Doctor’s failure to connect to anyone outside of the TARDIS.  How impossible must it be for the Doctor to find the right moment in his own life when he knows no mortality or time, and even more impossible, would it be for him to meet someone that shares that same experience?  The somber ending of “The Girl in the Fireplace” is a reminder that the Doctor cannot have a proper timeline—a real one with a beginning, a middle and an end. Tennant’s Doctor seamlessly conveys a quiet melancholy about the Timelord’s lonesome destiny that makes this episode heartbreakingly memorable

“Human Nature” and “Family of Blood” by Paul Cornell

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The Doctor is human?! My fantasies have come true! “Human Nature” and “Family of Blood” take place in the 20th century in a small school, where the Doctor and Martha are hiding from the dangerous Family of Blood that wants to use the Doctor’s energy to prevent themselves from dying.  In order to successfully dodge the bloodthirsty aliens, the Doctor uses the Chameleon Arch to turn himself into a human. However, the machine leaves him without any memory of who he really is: a kickass Timelord that needs to save the universe and hates pears. The only person who knows his true identity is Martha, and she is too busy admiring the Doctor’s cute arse under strict orders not to reveal the Doctor’s identity until the precise moment before the danger reaches its climax (the Doc’s memories are inserted into a watch that she must give to him at the right moment).

What’s interesting about this storyline is that it is less sci-fi and more drama. Both episodes mostly focus on the Doctor’s inner-turmoil as he tries to figure out his identity and destiny. As a human being, the Doctor is merely a professor, who falls in love with his coworker. He is no more different than Martha, Rose, or Donna. His story is simple and realistic. The Doctor feels like humans do and has the possibility of living a normal human life. As much as the Doctor loves his human form, we (the audience and Martha) know it will not last. Tension builds as the Doctor’s impending heartache becomes evident. And as the memories of his identity start seeping through in the form of series of sketches and stories the Doctor starts logging in a journal, the realization that his happy human form is an illusion becomes increasingly apparent to himself and everyone around him. And one question remains after the aliens are gone and the Doctor goes back to the TARDIS: Can the Doctor ever be happy and fulfilled as a Timelord?

“Blink” by Steven Moffat

Don’t blink. Don’t even blink. Blink and you’re dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe, don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and don’t blink. Good luck.

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This is possibly the most iconic episode of Doctor Who since the new series began. And it is rather awesome indeed! Although Tennant is barely in “Blink”, his terrific dialogue is a pop culture reference. This episode follows Sally Sparrow as she ducks tries to understand what is going on in her wacky life. Let’s see what;s going with Sally….scary statue angels are coming to life, her best friend has gone missing, and the DVDs she watches contain a bizarre “Easter Egg” (that is seemingly talking directly to her).

Moffat’s “Blink” is brilliantly acted, but mostly, it is the thrilling, scary, and engaging plot that mesmerizes the Who audience. Moffat demonstrates that Doctor Who can be frightening as well as magical. I won’t ruin this one too much for you, but what really rocks is the way this episode defines time and time travel. It really dives into the Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey and follows up with an interesting paradoxical ending. After “Blink”, you won’t close your eyes anywhere near a statue again… guaranteed.

And yes there are more amazing Tennant episodes that I honorably mention below. What’s your favorite Tennant Who episode?

Some MORE of my favorites:

“The End of Time”

“Silence in the Library” and “Forest of the Dead”

“Voyage of the Damned”

“The Planet of the Ood”

“Love & Monsters”

“Gridlock”

“The Christmas Invasion”

“The Idiot’s Lantern”

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Top 20 Geek Girl Crushes

Finally! This Top 20 list took me a while to compile and write. I carefully chose some of the geekiest crushes I have had (and some I know my friends have had) and tried to make a list that was universal and versatile. I didn’t discriminate cartoon or video game characters as you’ll see. So please do take a gander, comment, or just agree to disagree. Either way, I hope it’s as entertaining for you to read as it was for me to write. Special thanks to Gricel and Edward who helped me write a few of the crushes I wasn’t too familiar with. 🙂 Cheers!

# 20 Tuxedo Mask (Voiced by Rino Romano, Toby Proctor and Vince Corazza)

Sailor Moon

Tuxedo Mask is a sort of gateway drug into the world of animanga boy crushes. Not only does Tuxedo Mask fit the gallant, masked crusader role, he’s a man of independent means. How many teenage boys do you know who own their own apartment and have top grades? He’s the kind of guy every high school aged manga/anime geek girl dreams about. Who doesn’t love a guy with roses for weapons?

Memorable Quote:

Tuxedo Mask: When you’re uncertain or worried, I’ll be there for you. I may have no power, but you called me here to you. If you need me… …I’ll give you… the strength of my soul.

#19 Big Pete and Little Pete (Mike Maronna and Danny Tamberelli)

The Adventures of Pete and Pete

Pete and Pete are some delightful gingers. Growing up, Pete and/or Pete showed me how cute redheads with freckles can be. After they spent that whole summer trying to find Mr. Tastee and being scared of their shrinking shadows, I knew just how awesome they really were. I think they might have been the original hipsters with their tats, flannel, grungy look, and odd sensibilities. Not only did they make Petunia dance, they made my heart dance.

Memorable Quotes:

Older Pete WrigleyShe’s a girl, and she’s my friend, but she’s not my girlfriend.

Younger Pete Wrigley: Now begins the Age of Pete!

#18 Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar)

Saved by the Bell

Time out! Zack Morris was the first man that bamboozled his way into my heart, so of course, he had to be on the list. Obviously, this isn’t the geekiest of crushes, but hey, Zack is pretty cheesy … it has to count for something. Besides, what other Bayside alum could get higher SAT scores than Jessie Spano, manage the Hot Fudge Sundaes, and still take Kelly to the Prom (Damn that Jeff from the Maxx. I’ll never forgive you, home wrecker!).

Memorable Quote:

Kelly: Why aren’t you at the prom?

Zack: Oh, is that tonight? Gosh, I must have forgotten?

Kelly: There must have been 100 girls who would love to go with you.

Zack: Actually 106.

#17 Alistair (Voiced by Steve Valentine)

Dragon Age

For anyone who has played the DND-like video game, Dragon Age, Alistair is probably one of your favorite companions. His awkward virgin ramblings, offbeat comedy, and sweet nature are charming even in the middle of an epic battle. And if you are so lucky, you can romance this handsome Grey Warden and share a tent with him. I know my elf was more than happy to see him in his boxer briefs (didn’t know those were around in Ferelden, but I guess so).

Memorable Quote:

Alistair: That’s what I’m here for. To deliver unpleasant news and witty one-liners.

#16 Dr. Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox)

Lost

Doctors are sexy. And who else would you love to be stuck on a creepy, fantasy island with other than Dr. Jack Shephard?! He knows how to lead a team; he has a hot temper and always tries to do the right thing. His five o’ clock shadow brings the girls to the Dharma Initiative yard.

Memorable Quote:

Kate Austen: Kind of stinks, huh?

Jack Shephard: What that?

Kate Austen: Being told not to come along. Now you know what it’s like to be me.

Jack Shephard: Does that mean I should wait 20 minutes and go anyway?

Kate Austen: Touché.

#15 Jareth the Goblin King (David Bowie)

Labrynth

I don’t need to explain this one too much: David Bowie, Muppets, magic, and David Bowie. His crazy hair and crystal balls juggling act was just to much awesome for one movie. So, he is an evil kidnapper? We all have flaws.

Memorable Quote:

Sarah: Give me the child.

Jareth: Sarah, beware. I have been generous up ’til now. I can be cruel.

Sarah: Generous? What have you done that’s generous?

Jareth: *Everything*! Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for *you*! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. Isn’t that generous?

#14 Darth Vader (Voiced by James Earl Jones)

Star Wars IV, V, VI

Like bad boys? Darth Vader is the definitive bad boy. He might be the greatest and most recognizable Jedi gone rogue, so you better believe he’ll bring your heart to the Dark Side. And sure, he might be overambitious (really, a DEATH star?!), but alas, there’s nothing sexier than a man with a lightsaber and an evil plan.

Memorable Quote:

Darth Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

#13 Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgård)

True Blood

This tall, blonde, scruffy Nordic vamp gets on the list because of his dashing good looks and badass attitude. Eric is perhaps one of the best characters in the True Blood series. He has all the traditional sexy vampire characteristics, but there is more to him that meets the eye. His sweet feelings for Sookie and tragic past experiences give him depth while making him even sexier….It was love at first bite.

Memorable Quote:

Sookie Stackhouse: [In reference to Godric] He’s your maker, isn’t he?

Eric Northman: Don’t use words you don’t understand.

Sookie Stackhouse: You have a lot of love for him.

Eric Northman: Don’t use words I don’t understand.

#12 Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Well, for me it’s a no-brainer that Michael Cera had to be somewhere on this list. He has so many unforgettable geeky and cute roles. However, perhaps the most iconic of his characters is Scott Pilgrim. As he fumbles awkwardly into your heart, Scott Pilgrim also fights until the death with your evil exes. Ah, nothing like devotion you can measure in coins and 1ups.

Memorable Quote:

Scott Pilgrim: You once were a ve-gone, but now you will be-gone.

Todd Ingram: Ve-gone?

# 11 Brodie (Jason Lee)

Mallrats

We’ve all been there… gone out with guy that was straight out of a Kevin Smith movie a little self-absorbed and childish. Yet, there is something amazingly charming about Brody in Mallrats. Perhaps it’s his witty, sardonic nerdy speak that keeps you wanting more. Or maybe you love men that are outspoken about children playing on escalators. Either way, with his quiet desperation about his break-up and hilarious monologues, Brody definitely makes the list of one my top geeky crushes.

Memorable Quote:

Brodie: You’re gonna listen to me? To something I said? Hasn’t it become abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don’t know shit?

#10 Edward Scissorhands (Johnny Depp)

Edward Scissorhands

Someone with the sort of enigmatic charm as Edward Scissorhands possesses is a dream come true for an angsty teen girl.  Edward Scissorhands is a bewildered, silent creation that gets thrown into a world he can’t fit into to, and his only connection to this new world is his love of Winona Ryder a striking blond beauty that is seemingly perfect. He is indeed the perfect emo crush: gangly, awkward and ridiculously handsome. And don’t forget, he can make a landscape art inspired by you. HAWT.

Memorable Quote:

Bill: So Edward, did you have a productive day?

Edward: Mrs Monroe showed me where the salon’s going to be.

[turns to Peg]

Edward: You could have a cosmetics counter.

Peg Boggs: Oh, wouldn’t that be great!

Bill: Great.

Edward: And then she showed me the back room where she took all of her clothes off.

#9 Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen)

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Whether as a ranger, hobbit-minder, or king, Aragorn is a LoTR fangirl’s dream crush. He’s a one-woman sort of man, falling in love with Arwen at first sight despite her being a highborn elf and he a mortal human. A fierce warrior, he’s at all the major battles in the fight for Middle-Earth, but his ultimate reward is getting to live out the rest of his days with Arwen. It’s a fairy tale sort of crush. What elvish girl wouldn’t give up immortality for him? Plus, isn’t a sweaty Viggo exactly what the doctor ordered?

Memorable Quote:

Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?

Aragorn: I thought I had wandered into a dream.

Arwen: Long years have passed. You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember what I told you?

Aragorn: You said you’d bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people.

Arwen: And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.

[hands him her pendant]

Arwen: I choose a mortal life.

Aragorn: You cannot give me this.

Arwen: It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart.

#8 Captain Kirk (William Shatner)

Star Trek

What makes Kirk crush-worthy? One word: Sex. Kirk had the first interracial kiss on television with Lt. Uhura, he’s made out with a green lady alien, doctors, lawyers, he even traveled to the past and “hooked up” with a female biologist, simultaneously bringing back the whale population on Earth, since they were extinct by Kirk’s time; thereby, saving the Earth from destruction and restoring a species. How’s that for sexy?

Memorable Quote:

Capt. Kirk: Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.

#7 Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe)

Harry Potter (all of them!)

You couldn’t wait ‘til he turned 18—for totally harmless reasons of course! Harry Potter is a cute little nerd with magic. It would be any little girl’s dream to have him as a friend or a boyfriend. For my squealing inner 12-year-old girl, Harry Potter is a must-have on this list, and it isn’t just the butter beer talking. 😛

Memorable Quote:

Ollivander: He’s after you, Mr. Potter. You really don’t stand a chance.

Harry Potter: I suppose I’ll have to kill him before he finds me.

#6 Garrus Vakarian (Voiced by Brandon Keener)

Mass Effect Trilogy

Anyone who has ever played as female Shepard in the famous RPG, Mass Effect knows all about the lovable Turian, Garrus Vakarian.  I know I’m not the only person that can look past his rough exoskeleton and appreciate the sarcastic, dark, and ever-so loyal Garrus. And that voice! His sexy, raspy voice puts a spell over me. He can talk calibrations with me anytime.

 

Memorable Quote:

Commander Shepard: So when should I book the room?

Garrus Vakarian: I’d wait if you’re OK with it. Disrupt the crew a little as possible. Take that last chance to find some calm just before the storm. You know me, always like to savor that last shot before popping the heatsink.

Garrus Vakarian: Wait… that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.

#5 Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch)

Sherlock

Being a lit geek, I automatically fall in love with every sexy British literary character, but I must say BBC’s Sherlock is by far my fav literary crush. This extremely clever, sarcastic, obsessive psychopath genius is everything I would want in a freelance detective and in an unattainable crush. Someone that is so smart and so completely emotionally void poses a challenge sure, but challenges can be intriguing and entertaining. Take me to 221B Baker Street, stat! My heart is Sherlocked!

Memorable Quote:

Sherlock Holmes: It’s obvious, isn’t it?

John Watson: It’s not obvious to me.

Sherlock Holmes: Dear God. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so BORING.

#4 Lee Adama aka Apollo (Jamie Bamber)

Battlestar Galactica

One word: Towel. Apollo is by far the sexiest member of BSG. With his awesome leadership skills and sexy come-hither stares, Lee Adama makes me wish I were battling Cylons on Galactica. I’ll be his Starbuck anytime… as long as he promises not to hide his killer bod under a fat suit. K? Thanks.

Memorable Quote:

President Laura Roslin: You are the right one, Lee. You have always been the right one. My only concern about you is that you’re so hellbent on doing the right thing that you sometimes don’t do the smart thing.

Lee Adama: Well, I’ll try to be smarter, and wronger.

#3 Special Agent Fox Mulder (David Duchovny)

The X-files

If you are anything like me, I started watching The X-files for the aliens and stayed for the Mulder. Agent Mulder, with his brown shiny hair and nerdy love of all things alien is exactly who you would want to rescue you from scary space invaders. And of course his sex appeal goes up a notch whenever you think of the crazy sexual tension between Mulder and his beautiful partner Scully. Yes, I believe!…in Fox Mulder.

Memorable Quote:

Special Agent Fox Mulder: Whatever happened to playing a hunch, Scully? The element of surprise, random acts of unpredictability? If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced.

[Pops a sunflower seed into his mouth]

Special Agent Fox Mulder: What are we doing up here, Scully? It’s hotter than hell.

#2 Doctor (David Tennant)

Doctor Who

Alons-y! David Tennant makes any Whovian gush with his version of the Doctor. This Doctor’s whimsical attitude, delightful jokes, emotional unavailability kind heart, and boyish good looks make him a geek girl’s dream come true.  Don’t you just want to ruffle his hair and hop on his TARDIS? Oh, if only I was as lucky as Madame de Pompadour, Rose, Martha, Donna… (the list goes on)!

Memorable Quote:

Tenth Doctor: I’m the Doctor. I’m a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasteroborous. I’m 903 years old. And I’m the man who’s gonna save your life and the lives of all 6 billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?!

#1 Han Solo (Harrison Ford)

Star Wars IV, V, VI

Who doesn’t love a bad boy? Han Solo is the ultimate crush for any geeky gal. This Star Wars bounty hunter is the quintessential rebel with a heart of gold. Those big beautiful eyes and pouty lips would melt the heart of any gal in the galaxy. The best thing about Han is his confidence. Not only does he shoot Greedo first and doesn’t even flinch, he never apologizes for any of his other antics. Han Solo is just a regular space dude with a crazy amount of mojo and an insufferable need for danger. SWOON.

Memorable Quote:  

Princess Leia: I love you.

Han Solo: I know.