Blogging Dead: Review of Season 5’s “Strangers”

WARNING: If you have not seen “Strangers” (Season 5, episode 2), make sure you are not eating meat when you do or else this will happen:

In “Strangers,” the Ricktatorship is on the move once again. This time, I assume they will have a plan in case they get separated because there are only so many times I can watch Rick yell CARL!  In this episode, the crew finds a very suspicious priest, saves him, and stays at his church. Rick does not trust him (for the record neither do I)… mostly cause he only has one emotion: stupefied.


In true Walking Dead fashion, they go looking for supplies. This time the crew goes to a local food bank where the priest suggests. There are a bunch of very delicious looking wet zombies, with melty faces in the way of the supplies (kind of like a zombie moat?). Of course, they get the food but not without grossing me out with a bunch of awesome yet ew death-to-soggy-zombie scenes. Rick notices that the priest is acting extra shifty, so he tries to skew him for answers to no avail.

When the crew goes back to the church, Carl warns his dad about some markings on the church. SUSPICIOUS. Rick still doesn’t trust the priest but the priest did give them communal wine so…. Party? At the communal wine party, Muttonchops finally gets Rick to agree to a road trip. Get the Winnebago ready kiddos because the Walking Dead is heading to DC!

BONUS: Carol and Darryl see the mysterious car that kidnapped Beth and follow it. I can’t wait to see what she is going to sing when they rescue her!

The whole episode, Bob seems to be the focal point of the scenes. Naturally, I thought this meant he was going to die. So when he decided it was a great idea to go cry outside alone in the middle of a zombie apocalypse, I thought the dude just signed his death certificate. Ever heard of the buddy system, Bobby? That dumb move gets him captured… and when Bobby wakes up we learn his captures are none other than the Terminus survivors. The Terminus hot hipster leader dude Gareth is directing the cannibals to stalk Rick’s group. And what do cannibals really love other than fava beans and nice Chianti? Roasted leg. Mmmm…. Nice day for a Bobby-Q anyone? Anyone?



Blogging Dead: First Two Episodes are Like Whoa

Walking Dead is back and so am I! Two weeks ago the series premiered with a lesson in organic farming and tons of noobs ready to be hacked off.  In “30 Days Without an Accident” foreshadow much?, a month has passed and it appears the jail has turned into a quiet(ish) sanctuary for the gang—much like Herchel’s farm was before.  The group set up designated jobs for everyone, farming, gathering, story time/how to stab your infected Dad during a zombiepocalypse time with Carol.

The characters seem to be more relaxed and enjoying the little bit of normalcy the jail gives them. Carl seems to be acting somewhat well adjusted to life without being a menace to society while Rick is still leader, albeit a passive one. Rick is trying to protect his children from the craziness of the outside world and has renounced his role as a gun-toting dictator. Let’s call him Farmer Rick from now on.


As the first episode developed, we see that their humble abode isn’t as safe as they believed.  On a routine run at a Big Lots! type store, one of the newbies decides he might want to hit the bottle save me some and accidentally knocks the whole store shelf down (party foul!). And just then the roof caves and down comes a ton of hungry zombies, zombie guts, and zombie blood. Beth’s boyfriend gets eaten and she sings a song about it and all she does is change the “Days Without an Accident” board without crying #yolo #unlessyoucomebackasazombie.


And then there was this drawn out side plot where the creepiest girl alive lures Rick into the forest. It seemed to me like a very boring character development aside that I could have done without. But alas, the ending did rock. I was shocked when kid Zombie Woody Allen gets infected, and we don’t know why he died.

In the second episode “Infected,” turns out Zombie Woody Allen stays in the cellblock and turns a plethora of extras into walkers. That scene was highly intense as we see a bunch of people we have no emotional investment in get eaten. Then, we learn there’s a highly contagious disease spreading through the jail (in addition to the walking dead disease we’ve come to take for granted). And now it’s clear that this is why Zombie Woody died #everythingyouwantedtoknowaboutzombiesbutweretooafraidtoask. And there’s some weird dude or dudette throwing rats to the zombies and BBQing the infected. Michonne cries when she holds babies and Rick arms Carl (hell yes!).


All-in-all, the season premiere wasn’t as kick-ass as I thought it would be.  The second episode is seemingly more like a continuation of the first. If it had been a 2-hour premiere that combined the first two episodes, there would have been a more cohesive intro to this new season.  And WTF was up with them not taking care of that fence?! Surely by now you would take all that free time you have without Netflix, Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook to create a moat, a booby trap, a zombie grenade or something of the sort to prevent any more “accidents in the workplace.”  Also, poor piggies. 😦

Cubanisimo Zombie Apocalypse: On “Juan of the Dead”


Now for something that’s actually Cuban.

Shaun of the Dead is one of my favorite zombie movies and for good reasons: clever classic zombie movie parody moments, a wonderful slacker redemption plot, and of course, Simon Pegg. And even though there is no Simon Pegg, Juan of the Dead does an excellent job of achieving all that Shaun of the Dead does plus adds poignant political satire to the mix. Of course, all zombie movies are not actually about zombies except for maybe Zombie Cheerleading Camp that’s about boobs and zombies. But Juan of the Dead reveals the absurdity of a communist society in a surprisingly delightful way (and it doesn’t bore you with political diatribes).

At the start of the flick, slacker Juan (Alex Diaz de Villegas) and his perv friend Lazaro (Jorge Molina) are fishing of the coast of Cuba when they encounter their first zombie. Right away, the audience knows there is a zombie conflict rising, but Juan and Lazaro just take it as an odd occurrence and go on with their lives. After their brief interaction with the undead, they seem unmoved and continue what can be assumed is a typical day in Havana for the pair. They talk to neighbors, drink rum on a rooftop, peep through their neighbor’s windows, and eventually, attend their neighborhood’s weekly meeting. That meeting is where the horrific mayhem starts and the movie’s satirical intentions are evident.

During the meeting, the very patriotic neighbors sing the national anthem and pledge their faith in the country’s communism. Right as the meeting takes way, a zombie starts attacking. Immediately everyone around disperses in a frenzy. When Juan and company get to a TV, hoping to find some news on the day’s unbelievable events, they discover that the media and government are blaming these brutal attacks on the U.S.A. and are referring to the zombies as dissidents—making it very obvious they are mocking the country’s government and its manipulation of facts like a Big Brother dystopia but with zombies.

Amidst the zombie craziness, there are a ton of “Shaun of the Dead typemoments with a hilarious Cuban twist. However, I’m not sure that someone without familiarity with the Cuban culture (a.k.a. the average American moviegoer) would get the jokes and satire quite the same way.

Overall, It is an excellent zombie flick, and I would suggest it to anyone looking to watch something different from a Simon Pegg flick, but still just as funny and entertaining. Just make sure to brush up on your Cuban before watching.

And in case you were wondering what your Cuban Abuela might say when watching Juan of the Dead, it would go something like this:

“ñoooo que ZOMBIE ni zombie, Chico. Eso no pasaba en Cuba. ¡Que paquete!”